5 plus 1 short stories
by Mme Fish
Summary: Rated T for language and implied sex. Chapter 1: Darcy; Chapter 2: Elizabeth
1. Chapter 1

Rated T for language and implied sex. Fluffy one shot.

One

They are invited at a barbeque party. The weather, he is told, is perfect for barbeque: not too cold and certainly not too hot. It's true; the weather is quite mild - for an October day with a slow steady drizzle. It could've been worse he thinks, in more ways than he cares to imagine, and Charles would've still dragged him to spend time with his newest Angel and her earthly family.

Mr. Bennet is pissed off for being ordered to see to the grill and Mrs. Bennet loudly explains that it's all for the benefit of the Bingleys, otherwise "casseroles are the way to go when feeding a crowd."

Caroline and Louisa are horrified at the sight of greasy sausages and burger patties of unknown provenance and uncertain ingredients.

There are no eating implements and Darcy stopped using his hands to grab food by the time he could say _Coq au vin_ and _Fillet mignon_. He looks around a little alarmed - surely they would bring out forks for the salad? They do, but they are plastic ones and why would Mrs. Bennet supply him with a real steak knife, but not a good fork is very hard to comprehend.

"Burgers are meant to be savoured with all of one's senses, Charles," a voice floats from behind him. He turns around just in time to see Elizabeth licking her fingers clean of barbecue sauce. He suddenly needs to clear his throat, so he does. "Unless I'm offending the delicate sensibilities of your fitzwilliam friend?"

Darcy can actually see his name stripped of meaning, transformed in attribute and de-capitalized; he smiles thinly, picks a sausage with two fingers and experimentally takes a bite - not bad.

Jane Bennet smiles and quickly looks away; Charles gives a short bark of amusement and pats him on the back; Elizabeth's mirth overflows in great peals of laughter; and Caroline is suddenly pale.

There are only a couple more hours to endure the party while being the only one with a stained shirt.

-§§§-

Two

Another damn party. Don't these people need to work? Party after party, after party, after party: at the Bennets, at the Lucases, the Longs (or is it Ling? Or Lee?), the Gouldings, and let's not forget the Phillipses and who knows who else. And now, of course, Charles feels - _feels_ \- he has to host a party himself.

At least Wickham had the brains to not show his face; this ought to count for something.

"I'm telling you, Jane, he's got a giant pole up his ass."

"Give the man a break, Liz. I really don't get what he ever did to you; besides, not everybody dances."

"Girls! Girls! What are you doing here? What did I tell you before we came? Tonight's important, especially for you, Jane."

"We were ogling the studs, Mom."

"Oh," Mrs. Bennet's train of thought is derailed for a moment while she sweeps her eyes over the mass of bodies. "Oh, yes," she says with a little smile. "Remember what I taught you. You can always tell what he'll do in bed by how much effort he puts into foreplay."

"And dancing is most certainly foreplay!" The three women chorus and break into raucous laughter.

It's late or very early, depending how you look at it, and Charles' party has moved into one non descript club playing non descript music for people to grind and sweat against each other. He hates the clubs and the music and the sweat and the grinding and the… Wait a moment! Yeah, Charles and Jane are definitely engaged in foreplay. He should warn his friend to cool things off a bit - right now.

Instead his feet had carried him where Liz dances alone, her arms extended above her head, her midriff almost bare, her breasts pushed up and forward. He doesn't say anything, she wouldn't hear him in any case, just fits himself behind her, his hands on her hips, steadying her to his rhythm. She looks back once and adds a bit more sass to her movements, then suddenly breaks away and leaves him all alone. She only turns again to smirk at him. What's that suppose to mean?

-§§§-

Three

"You think we should date? Although you can't stand my mother? Or my sisters? But you're willing to overlook it all for my sake? Is that what you're saying?"

It doesn't really go the way he imagined it would. She doesn't seem to care about his feelings, instead she dwells on the inconsequential stuff. He is already over all that, but still.

"You cannot argue that some members of your family are goddamn awful."

"Why the hell do you think I care about your opinion of them?"

"If we are going to date and maybe, in time, develop our relationship further, they could well become an issue, Elizabeth," he answers reasonably, although it's clear things are out of his control and he's not sure how to fix it.

"An issue, huh? Is that why you broke up Jane and Bings? She became an issue for you to deal with? And why the fuck did you even -"

"Elizabeth," he says and then he stops and shrugs. "Yes, your sister was becoming an issue. I know what I saw."

"My family is my family! They are not an issue! And you don't get talk like this about them!"

Liz has completely lost it by now, yelling in his face and what is he supposed to do?

"There's no point in denying that some of our respective relatives are less than stellar," he says when there's a break. "I respect your intelligence too much to pretend otherwise.

"Yeah, I bet you do," she answers and the derision he hears chills him. "But do you respect _**me**_?"

He misses a beat, doesn't answer right away, doesn't even understand what's her question and when he blinks again she's gone.

-§§§-

Four

"Just shut up, Caroline."

"What?"

"You are beyond ridiculous."

"Will!"

"Elizabeth is the most wonderful and genuine person I've ever met. She's not here to stalk me or throw herself at me, but if I'm very lucky she'll let me throw myself at her."

Ah, the door is massive oak and survived more than one dramatic exit in its lifetime.

"I'm sorry, Charles. It was rude of me; and cruel. I'll apologize," he says and he is sorry for getting ahead of himself and blurting everything to Caroline; and a little for being cruel, but only a little.

"Yes, it was," his friend replies absentmindedly. "True as well, no doubt."

"Yes."

"Tell me again why I, on the other hand, just _had_ to leave Jane?"

-§§§-

Five

"I don't think so, Darcy," George says without any trace of worry. "In fact you should think how much you're going to _pay_ me to keep my mouth shut about her," he continues smirking at Liz's sister. "She was more than willing, I assure you. In fact it was her idea to sell in my stead. Wasn't it, Lyds?"

Lydia just sobs harder and that's admission enough. They probably won't put her behind bars, but the questioning and the trial, if it comes to it, and the knowledge that everybody will forever know how stupid you've been is enough to bring anybody down.

"Yeah, she loves me so much. She can't help herself; just like Geor-"

He doesn't get to finish - Darcy has promised himself he'll kill George if he ever does so much as think of Georgiana again in his life, let alone speak her name. Two minutes later George has a broken nose and his front teeth are dangling at an odd angle.

Lydia watches him in awe.

On retrospect it wasn't probably his best idea. He took Lydia to her aunt and uncle and had to endure an almost one hour drive during which the teen pawed him with impunity under the guise of checking his thighs for injuries. His _thighs_? Injured in a fist fight?

And then she insisted she be the one to care for his hands.

No, he could not stay for dinner, maybe some other time. Yes, he'll deal with Wickham, they should not worry. It was nothing, really, no thanks needed, he's positive he has to rush, but they'll meet again for sure.

-§§§-

Plus one

"You're sure?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Of course I'm sure."

"I do not want to rush you; to rush us."

"You don't, my fitzwilliam hunk."

He still cannot stand (or understand) her obsession to spelling his name like she would an adjective to be attached to various proper nouns - her words, not his. It cracks her up though, every friggin' time she manages to fitzwilliamize stuff - her words, not his, of course; so he puts up with it the best he can.

"Hey, what's on your mind?"

He's been silent for some time now, he doesn't know how long. He didn't even made it past the door into her tiny studio.

"I guess I'm nervous. I don't want to screw this."

"You won't; I won't let you."

Some forty minutes later (or maybe less, although he hopes the whole episode lasted at least twenty minutes) they are both trying to catch their breath all the while looking at each other from a new perspective. Very new, very wonderful, totally _hot_ perspective.

"This was, hands down, the best sex I ever had; with or without a partner," he thinks.

"Totally," his lover agrees and laughs so hard she hiccups.

"Shit. That was crass."

"Oh, come on, a girl likes to know she's the best lay in town," she replies seriously and doubles down in laughter again.

"Just kill me now."

"Nah, I'm thinking I'm gonna keep you around for a while. For research purposes; see if we can top this."

"Marry me?" She doesn't answer, doesn't make a joke, just looks at him frowning. Why, oh, why can he not keep his mouth shut? "I mean," but she cuts him off.

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Sure."

He would like to talk more, to tell her of his love, of what she means to him. She doesn't let him though, she has no need for words, she only wants him.


	2. Chapter 2

Short AN: I had no intention to add to it, but it looked unfinished without E's point of view.

I'm thinking Bingley and Caroline too and maybe Lydia.

5 times Elizabeth knew exactly what was going through Fitzwilliam's mind and one time he surprised her

One

Lately he is everywhere, it's like she cannot escape him. It's not even possible to ignore him because he sticks out like a sore thumb no matter where he is or what he does.

Why did he ever come to her mother's barbeque, Elizabeth cannot even begin to imagine. She likes Charles, he's a great guy, very friendly, very sweet - without being an idiot, but the man has absolutely no taste in friends; or sisters.

Take this moment, for example. One has to wonder what Darcy was expecting to find when he came for barbeque. Elizabeth feels both repulsed by his obvious distaste for eating in such an informal setting, without a proper knife and fork, and a little protective of him in the face of her mother's eye rolls and not so subtle hints about how some people need to be waited on hand and foot.

-§§§-

Two

He is, without a doubt, the most aggravating man of her acquaintance. He is constantly following her around, listening in on her conversations, always with a frown, always judging her.

The least she could do would be to oblige him, right? Give him something, right?

She looks around a little, then she turns to look back and sure enough there he is, much closer than she would have expected.

"We were ogling the studs, Mom," she says and purposefully looks everywhere else but at him. It was just the thing to get her mother going. Mrs. Bennet was moments away from spouting her words of advice, but this time Elizabeth would not be embarrassed.

And dancing is indeed foreplay; if done right, that is.

A while later Elizabeth is happy to see Jane and Charles becoming hot and heavy right in the middle of the club. Who knew shy Jane had in her? Only goes to show that there is such a thing as soul mates - nobody but Charles ever got Jane to throw caution to the wind like that.

But where is Charlie's wingman extraordinaire? She half expected him to be glued to her side all evening.

Ah, there he is. And heading towards Jane and Charles?! Is the guy completely clueless? No, he's changed his mind.

And wouldn't you know it, he is glued to her back now. His hands on her hips feel… nice? She adds a little extra something to her movements and presses back slightly. It does feel good; but then she remembers whose hands and body we're talking about here and moves away.

She's never been a chicken though and she won't be one now: she turns back towards him once and dares him to come after her, but he only frowns so she walks away.

-§§§-

Three

She wasn't quite sure what he was proposing; or why.

She didn't care that he loved her and neither did she believe it. Because - what kind of love is that when the very idea of your girlfriend's family visiting is enough to make you say things like "such an attraction goes against my character, certainly against my better judgment" ?

How about you let your better judgment keep you warm at night, huh, Mr. Darcy?

She loved her family, even her mother. And even if she didn't, nobody asked the fitzwilliam bastard to like them. Nobody cared what he thought, did they?

Except that obviously Bingman did care enough to take his friend's advice and leave Jane.

And she had to admit her mother could be pretty damn awful, she drove Elizabeth nuts more often than not. Like all the curses, for example. Liz had started to swear quite early on, because her mother thought it was "vulgar" - no daughter of hers will have potty mouth. Fourteen years old Elizabeth decided that if her mother was going to be thoughtless and embarrass her in front of friends and family, then she sure as hell could do the same. So she took up swearing. Really, reaaaally mature, right? The habit stuck, of course, like all bad habits do.

She was… not proud of herself, of how she dealt with Darcy. He could get a rise out of her as easily as her mother. Funny that, huh? What does it say about her? Elizabeth always sought her mother's approval and only got criticism in response. Kind of like her relationship with Darcy? In a twisted, weird sort of way.

-§§§-

Four

He was not at ease; but neither was she, obviously.

It would've been impossible.

He seemed eager to continue the acquaintance though. She was too, if she was honest. There was so much she didn't know about him: sunset or sunrise? Pizza or Thai? _Destination: Void_ or _the Saboteur_ series?

But, most important: straight black or with milk? And would tomorrow morning be a good time to find out? She hoped so.

-§§§-

Five

Stupid, stupid, stupid Lydia! Her youngest sister, _Mama's little darling_ , really went out of her way to attract attention to herself this time.

And all she had to say for herself was that she thought she loved George and he loved her, so of course she had to help him make some money. She would never be one to judge the people she loved. Yeah, Lydia knew how to be supportive; unlike her bitchy sisters.

Yeah, she said that and she threw in that Darcy had a mean left hook and _thighs_ to die for. She could just picture the thoughts that went through his mind! And leave to Lydia to have touched more of him than Liz had any hope to.

-§§§-

Plus One

He was so sweet; and so patient; and a complete gentleman. But she was past the sweet, had been so for some time.

With good reason, it seems: the sex had been good, more than good. For him as well, she hoped.

" _This was, hands down, the best sex I ever had,_ " he'd said and she'd laughed. She had to - both at his embarrassment for thinking out loud and his obvious desire for the earth to open and swallow him. She couldn't say quite the same thing, she'd had better, but there was great potential and she told him so.

"Nah, I'm thinking I'm gonna keep you around for a while. For research purposes; see if we can

top this."

Unless… For one awful moment she did wonder if he was uneasy not because he said it out loud, but because this was all there was to it. How ironic if now that she fell in love with him, he would treat their relationship as an extended booty call. " _Just kill me now,_ " he'd said earlier and she heartily agree with the sentiment.

And then - marry him? Marry him?!

Hell, yes! Umm, maybe.

Not maybe, that's definitely a "Yes". Really. Maybe.

It was probably stupid, they needed to talk a lot more, but she could not. Not right then. It's not easy to move from joy to despair and back to joy again in the span of only a couple of minutes. Not easy at all.

Thanks to Lyli Draco, Ansujali, Guest, and Kelila, who commented on the first installment. :3 !


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